Heartstrings
by Chrome Hearts
Summary: Writing a B.A.P Zelo short series to take my mind off of things. Gosh, I love Zelo, but for the longest time was going to kill him off. The story of a boy and the one he loved most. The story of a boy, and the one girl he can never have.
1. One

Loud, boisterous and inquisitive. That was how Kwon Ji Na always wanted to remember him by. Yes, that was it. Always smiling. Always happy. Yes, that was it.  
Ji Na had been by Junhong's side for as long as she could remember – after all, they were the only two in the entire neighborhood around the same age. Because of that, Ji Na liked to think of it as destiny, the two had been inseparable throughout most of their childhood. They were destined to grow up together, and, of course, destined to spend just about every waking minute of the day with one another.

Nodding to herself, Ji Na allowed the corners of her lips to tug upwards into a broad smile. Patting down a few flyaway strands of hair, she tugged the hood of her jacket up over her head. It provided some cover from the chilly winter breeze, but not as much as she would have liked. Resting her back against the cold, hard wood of the park bench, Ji Na swung her legs back and forth idly, her head tilted backwards slightly, dark eyes watching the overcast sky.

A quiet sigh escaped Ji Na's parted lips, a small steam of hot breath rose up in front of her. Digging her hand into the pocket of her jacket, Ji Na dug out her phone, her eyes scanning past message histories from various friends. Scrolling back to the very top of the list, Ji Na frowned. The very person she was waiting for – the very person whose spot right at the forefront of her messages never faltered – Junhong.

It was a mixture of anxiety and annoyance that tugged at her heartstrings. Why wasn't he here? Usually, if he was late, he would have texted. That was so un-Junhong like. And, of course, was the annoyance. Why wasn't he here by now? Why was it that he hadn't texted her?

Turning the phone over several times in the palms of her hands, Ji Na released another small sigh, stuffing the device back into the pocket of her jacket. Tucking her hands under her knees, Ji Na bent forward and looked at the ground, occasionally kicking at the concrete surface with the toe of her shoe.

Shadows of the dark clouds that hung overhead drifted slowly by on the concrete; one long, stretched and dark looking cloud-shadow would disappear into the grassy parklands only to be replaced by another, of which was to meet a very similar fate.

"Ji Na," a voice called, but she did not look up. Instead, her gaze was fixed firmly on the ground, watching the shadows ripple past slowly.

"Ji Na," the voice called again, and this time, she heard. It's him, she thought, Junhong is here. But even still, she kept her head bowed and her gaze fixed on the ground below her.

Someone slid onto the bench next to her, elbows bumping playfully against hers.  
"Sorry I'm late," Junhong said lazily, tucking his hands behind his head and gazing up at the dark sky. When he received no form of greeting or even reply, the boy furrowed his brows and leaned forward.

"Hey," he asked, concerned, "what's wrong?"

Ji Na was left with no choice but to face her friend. Glancing up –somewhat reluctantly – she met his eye. "What's wrong?" she asked, trying to sound as annoyed as possible, although she knew the smile that threatened to tug the corners of her lips upwards would betray her.

"What's wrong?" she repeated, "the fact that you go missing for well over an hour and don't let me know where you are. I was worried, Junhong! Worried!"

A quiet chuckle escaped the boys lips as he rubbed the back of his head awkwardly.

"Sorry," he said quickly, although Ji Na was sure he didn't mean it. "I … I guess you can say I just lost track of time."

Arching her eyebrows at his response, Ji Na tilted her head to the side.

"Oh really?" she asked. "Don't tell me you overslept again."

Junhong shook his head, making a face. "No," he defended, "I found this really cool store on the way here and wanted to have a look around."

His eyes widened for a fleeting second as though what he had just said ignited a spark deep inside his mind, bringing some buried thought to light. His hand dove into the front pocket of his backpack that he had sat on his lap and he fished around for a good minute before withdrawing his hand once more. Balling his hand into a fist, a wide grin spread across Junhong's face as he held it out to Ji Na.

An immediate reflex was for Ji Na to stretch out her hand in response, and when she did, Junhong opened his fist and dropped something into the palm of her hand.

"Here," he said and, before he could see the expression on Ji Na's face, he turned away, fiddling with the zips on his bag in silence.

Moving her hand closer to her face, Ji Na ran her thumb over the colourful wooden bracelet, circling the painted wooden rabbit charm. Quickly, she glanced up at her friend who was now scratching something invisible off the fabric of his backpack.

"What's this for?" Ji Na asked quietly, studying Junhong's face, or rather, as much as she could see of it that wasn't shielded by his white-yellow fringe.

"Nothing, really," came Junhong's mumbled reply. "When I saw it, it reminded me of you, that's all."

Ji Na's lips curled up into a playful smile. Quickly slipping the bracelet onto her small wrist, she got to her feet, moving in front of her friend and crouching down in front of him so that he was forced to meet her gaze.

"So, I remind you of a rabbit, then?" she teased and quickly, the surprised Junhong shook his head.

"It was cute, so- "realizing that wasn't helping his situation at all, Junhong chewed his bottom lip, glancing at the park around him. "Weren't we supposed to be exploring the mudflats today?"

A sudden look of realization dawned upon Ji Na and she pushed herself to her feet.

"That's right," she said, digging her hands into the pockets of her jacket. "But the sky-" shooting an unsure glance upwards at the overcast day, she sighed. "What if it rained?"

Junhong, too, got to his feet, swinging his backpack over his shoulder in one fluid motion.

"It's okay," he said patting the side of the bag in a lazy manner, "I've got an umbrella. We'll be okay."

A smile spread across Ji Na's face as she linked her arm with his. "Let's get going~"

Junhong was quiet for a good part of the walk to the mud flats, his gaze was fixed on the ground as he walked in silence; musing, contemplating, thinking.  
Finally, his lips parted, something no more than a mere whisper escaped his lips.  
"Ji Na?"

"Mm?"

"Thank you for accepting my gift."

*

The mud was slippery, making moving incredibly difficult, not to mention freezing to the touch.  
With shoes weighed down by about four inches of mud and debris that littered the flats, Ji Na managed to –rather awkwardly and sluggishly- make her way over to where the inquisitive Junhong stood, out in the middle of the flat. Large stick in hand, Junhong scraped layer after layer of thick, sticky mud out of the way, intrigued by what creatures he would find living beneath the surface.

After reaching his side, Ji Na looked around; the surrounding scenery was pretty minimalistic. A surfacing tree root here, a reed there. To put it simply, Ji Na was let down. She felt for sure that there would be something cool out in the middle of the flats, maybe just under the murky surface, just waiting to be discovered. But, after peeking over Junhong's shoulder at the worms and beetles he had unearthed, Ji Na quickly realised that there was nothing here to discover.  
Not wanting to dampen Junhong's mood, she decided to poke around in the mud with a (much too short for her liking) stick of her own, and, after a few minutes of the same repetitive movement, Ji Na's arm was caked to the elbow in freezing muck.

"Hey," Junhong asked after a long while of silence, touching his friends shoulder to get her attention and, surprised, Ji Na glanced up at him. "What's that over there?" he asked, pointing to something behind her.

Turning to search for whatever it was Junhong had caught sight of, Jin a had let her guard down completely. A loud, shrill shriek pierced the chilly winter air as the girl was pushed forward lightly, slipping on the horridly sleek mud and fell forwards.

Ji Na's arms, legs and much of her body were now caked with the freezing mud; small flecks of it were dotted across her face.  
A bright laugh echoed from inside Junhong as he reached down to help the fallen girl. However, stubbornness was a trait that ran in the Kwon family. Bracing herself, Ji Na wrapped her slippery fingers as firmly as she could around Junhong's wrist and brought him down into the freezing flats next to her.

"Hey," he grumbled playfully, mud covering only his bottom half, "what was that for?"

A wide grin spread across Ji Na's face as she reached out to him, wiping the back of her hand across his cheek, a smear of murky brown residue being left behind.  
Junhong whined in protest, quickly wiping it off with the back of his sleeve, a mischievous glint in his eyes. Scooping up a handful of mud, debris and goodness knows what else, he flung it towards his friend.

And that was how the mud war began.

The walk home was cold, miserable. The mud had begun to dry, the pairs' clothes sticking to their bodies. Their disheveled, wild look earned them judgmental glances from passerby's.

"Ergh," Ji Na managed to say after a while; her body was freezing and, for a long time, she had convinced herself that if she were to speak, the only thing Junhong would be able to hear would be the chattering of her teeth. Unfolding her arms, she lifted her mud-caked hand to her face, inspecting it. Glancing at both sides, she brought them to her hair and tried to comb out the tangles and debris.

"I must look like a mess!"

Glancing down at her, a small smile played across Junhong's face.

"No," he said as he reached out towards her, wrapping his hand around hers and bringing it to their side. "You still look cute, even if you are covered in mud."

With his spare hand, Junhong licked his thumb before rubbing it on Ji Na's cheek, removing a small amount of mud.

"There," he teased, "and now, you're perfect."

The rain drummed heavily against the roof of Ji Na's house. Her parents had long gone to sleep, and now, it was only her awake. Lying on her bed, hands withdrawn into the warmth of her flannel pajamas, a long sigh escaped Ji Na's lips.  
Looking out through the drawn curtains, she glanced through the rain covered window and out into the starless heavens above.  
Stretching her arms out in front of her, Ji Na flexed her fingers, the cuffs of her pajamas falling back towards her elbows.  
Staring at her exposed arms for a few moments, Ji Na could feel her stomach churn with unease. Something wasn't quite right.

Eyes widening with realization, Ji Na sat up immediately, her heart flooding with guilt and panic.  
The bracelet Junhong had given her was missing, and she was willing to bet anything that it had slipped off her wrist during their mud fight.

What was she going to do? Junhong had just expressed how happy he was that she had accepted his gift. How could she possibly face him after he had said those words to her? She couldn't.  
Pushing herself up off her bed, Ji Na slipped her thickest jacket over her pajamas before feeling her way blindly through the dark house.

Pausing momentarily to grab the torch off the kitchen counter and to pull her boots on, Ji Na made her way out into the freezing night, shielding her eyes from the ice cold rain.

Pulling her jacket closer to her to ward off the wind and the rain, Ji Na started forward, her eyes squinted against the icy spray.  
The mud flats were a good half hour walk from where she lived, but she couldn't allow herself to leave the bracelet out there.  
Not when it was a gift from the person she cherished the most.


	2. Two

The cloudless, cornflower blue sky far beyond juxtaposed that of the the wild, stormy weather from the night passed. High above, the sun glittered, suspended seemingly magically, yet its rays held no heat. A mixture of leaves, twigs and bark littered the footpath, collaging the surface with earthy tones. The grass was coated with a thin layer of dew that glittered whenever it caught the sun. Small puddles of chilly water were scattered here and there along the road and footpath, obscured by leaf litter; this caused Junhong to grumble miserably every time he stood in one, his socks growing damper every second he remained outside, his eyes now darting this way and that in an attempt to locate and prevent himself from stepping in any farther puddles.

Readjusting his leather jacket, Junhong tucked his cold hands away into his pockets, a small smile creeping onto his face as the warmth engulfed them. Keeping his head bowed, eyes searching for any hidden puddles, Junhong walked at a brisk pace towards Ji Na's house. Something crisp and bright caught his eye and Junhong stopped, glancing in its direction. A small cluster of bright blue flowers were a little way off, surprisingly undamaged considering the heaviness of the rainfall the previous night.

A smile crept onto Junhong's face as he stepped off the footpath and hurried towards the flowers; his canvas shoes squeaking loudly with every step that he took. Ignoring the increasing dampness in his socks, the boy bent down next to the cluster, his thumb and forefinger pinching the stem of the flower that seemed to be in the best condition before plucking it from the dewy grass.

Moving quickly back onto the footpath, Junhong tried taking his mind off the chill washing over his body by running his finger over the flower's stem, the soft fur that coated it making his finger tingle. As he got to the front gate of Ji Na's house, he adjusted his jacket, fixing the collar and straightening out any creases with his free hand, the hand holding the flower disappeared behind his back. Feeling that he looked decent enough, Junhong moved quickly up the garden path and knocked on the door.

He had no intention of coming inside that particular day, as it meant that he would have to take off his shoes, and he did not, not for a second, wish to leave little wet footprints throughout Ji Na's house. No, not at all. Instead, he had planned for them to go out for milkshakes before heading over to the lake to feed the ducks. Yes, Junhong decided, Ji Na would enjoy that.

The door took longer than Junhong would have liked to open, and he was met with the face of one who he was not expecting. Instead of the bright and cheery face that would fill his stomach with butterflied; instead of the rosy cheeks and full, pink lips that would make his heartbeat quicken just at the sight of, Junhong was met with the wary face of Ji Na's mother.

"I'm sorry," she said, "but Ji Na has fallen ill, she can't come outside today."

"Oh," Junhong said, shifting uncomfortably on the spot. He furrowed his brows, mentally cursing himself for pushing her over in the mud; that was how she had gotten sick, right? Dropping his gaze so that he didn't have to face the mother of the girl who he had gotten ill, Junhong chewed his bottom lip. "Can I please come inside and visit her?"

He didn't want to go inside; he didn't want to be left with the feeling of guilt that had replaced any hopes of butterflies and now churned in the bottom of his stomach. He didn't want to leave wet footprints all through the house, and he certainly didn't want to meet Ji Na's mother's gaze for fear of revealing that it was because of him that her daughter was sick.

All he wanted was to see her face. One smile from her, and he knew that everything would be okay. One smile from her would be able to fill him with so much happiness that he could forget about all of his guilt. And then, it dawned on him. All he wanted was to be with her.

Ji Na's mother shook her head. "I'm sorry," she repeated, "but I don't want you catching whatever it is she has; your mother would never forgive me."

Lifting his head sadly, Junhong forced himself to meet Ji Na's mother's eyes.

"I see," he said, forcing the corners of his lips upwards. "That's okay."

Sensing what was bothering him, Ji Na's mother offered the boy a warm smile. "When she has seen the doctor and he lets us know that it's not contagious, you can come visit. But for now, she needs rest."

Bending his head forward in a quick bow, Junhong turned, starting back down the garden path, wondering how he was going to spend his day without Ji Na by his side. Homething fragile bumped into his hand and Junhong looked down – the flower!

"Sorry," he said quickly, turning around. "Could you please give Ji Na-"

The doorway was empty, the spot where Ji Na's mother stood moments ago was replaced by a rather heavy-looking wooden door.

A quiet sigh escaped Junhong's lips as he glanced back down at the flower he had grasped tightly in his hands; it was looking quite wilted now, and the petals showed some signs of bruising from where he carelessly smothered it behind his back. A frown crept onto the boys lips as he moved quickly back up the garden path, placing the flower on the doormat. Well, he thought, angry with himself for having forgotten it, her mother's bound to find it and bring it to her.

Without another backwards glance at the house, Junhong, with shoulders slumped, made his way back out onto the street, the guilt he felt about having the one person he truly cared for fall ill churning dangerously in his stomach.


	3. Three

The blankets were tousled, horribly creased and kicked to the very back of the bed; the sheets were untucked and thrown messily to one side. Ji Na lay, her eyes pinched shut, lips pursed, as small beads of sweat glistened on her arms and neck. A loud, rattly sigh escaped her lips as she sat upright, the damp facewash that rested on her forehead fell into her lap. In this state, rest was going to be impossible.

Turning the wet –and incredibly warm- piece of fabric over in her hands, Ji Na furrowed her brow. Running a thumb over the top of her fingernail, she frowned. The nailbed was, very pale, yes, but unmistakably blue. She had heard the doctor discussing it with her mother in hushed tones just outside her bedroom door about an hour ago. While she had her eyes closed in an attempt to sleep, she did manage to catch the words _nail discolourment _and assumed that was what he was referring to.

Deciding that she wasn't going to lie in the one spot all day, Ji Na got weakly to her feet, her muscles and joints screaming in protest, before she crossed the room at a slow pace. On her desk lay a scrapbook, midnight blue in colour, along with a box of assorted objects. Gathering both in her hands, she started back towards her bed, spreading them out in front of her once she was comfortable.

Fishing a pair of scissors and a gluestick out of the box, Ji Na then reached for a glossy piece of paper, a photo, her thumb tracing the two people who beamed happily up at her.  
A sad sigh escaped her lips and Ji Na allowed her shoulders to slump.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her thumb tracing around Junhong's image, "I couldn't find it. I tried so hard, but … I just couldn't."

Lifting the scissors to the photograph, Ji Na trimmed around the edges, getting rid of unnecessary background before resting it, image first on her knee. Coating the back of it in glue, she opened the scrapbook to the page that she had been working on and placed the photo down on the coloured card. Ji Na's hand moved to the box once more and she rummaged around, pulling out a marker before she scribbled something –as neatly as she could- next to the photo; a memory that she never wanted to forget.

Flicking over the completed pages, Ji Na's lips pulled upwards into a satisfied smile. It was almost complete. When she had recovered, she was going to present this to Junhong, and when she did, she was going to confess to him her feelings.

*

Again and again, day after day, Choi Junhong woke up as early as he could and made his way to Ji Na's house in hopes of being greeted by her beautiful, smiling face as she opened the door – just like she used to. But again and again, day after day, he was greeted by the weary face of her mother, who would simply just shake her head at him and send him on his way.

"It's contagious," she would say. "It's contagious."

Sometimes she would even say, "I'll call you as soon as she gets better."

But those words just fell to empty ears. Ji Na's mother could see how much this was affecting the boy, and occasionally, would even the hopeful boy a container of rice cakes or Ddukbokki to take home with him. Junhong, of course, would thank her and head back home, all traces of hope to see the girl he loved gone, and instead, replaced with a numbing sensation.

What would he return to? Nothing. His parents worked for most of the day, as did his older brother. Junhong would return to an empty house. He would not talk, he would not laugh. There was nothing to help him pass the days.

But he didn't give up hope. Every morning, he would rouse as early as he could and get dressed, picking his most proper clothing. Every morning, he would reassure himself that today would be the day – today would be the day where Ji Na would be waiting for him. Today would be the day that they would go out for milkshakes, and today would be the day that they fed the ducks in the park.

With his heart filled with hope, Junhong knocked loudly on the door, straightening out his jacket as he waited. It was a good five minutes before it was answered, and immediately, Junhong felt his heart sink. It was Ji Na's mother, again; her face the usual – pale and wary, something he had grown quite accustomed to. But today, she did something he was not quite expecting.

She stepped aside.

She stepped aside, her back holding the door open for him, allowing him to enter.  
Junhong stared at her blankly for a few seconds before the happiest grin he'd had in a long time crept onto his face. His heartbeat quickened with excitement and anticipation.

Today was the day.

Sure, they weren't going to have milkshakes or feed the ducks like what he had been planning for weeks on end, but, he was going to see _her_.

He was going to see the one he had longed to see for the longest time.

Almost completely lost for words, Junhong hurried into the house, slipping his shoes off as he did so. Turning to face Ji Na's mother, he looked up at her, excitement sparkling in his dark eyes.

"She's recovered?" he asked, a little too eagerly for his liking, and mentally cursed himself for it.

Ji Na's mother shook her head. "No."

At this, Junhong's eyebrows furrowed. "So," he said, trying again, "then she's almost recovered?"

Again, Ji Na's mother shook her head, brushing past him. She stopped in the kitchen, gazing out of the window. _"No."_

Resisting the urge to run down the hallway to where Ji Na's room is, he sucked in a deep breath, following her mother into the kitchen. It took him every fiber of his being to not burst into her room and wrap his arms around her, but he managed. _Just._

"But-" he asked, slightly confused. "If she's not better … " he paused for a moment, searching for a way to finish the sentence properly. "Then why am I allowed to see her?"

Ji Na's mother turned to him, and Junhong knew that her heart was breaking just to talk to him.

"Because," she said, her voice cracking. "I don't know if you'll see her again."

A quiet keening sound escaped her lips as she slumped to the ground, her hands grabbing at her hair furiously. Junhong's face paled as he moved to the broken mother's side. Crouching next to her, he placed a hand reassuringly on her shoulder.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Junhong tried to find his voice. "It'll be okay," he said. "Ji Na will recover quickly. It's just taking a while, that's all."

Lifting her head, Ji Na's mother stared at the boy, tears streaked down her face.

"No," she managed to choke out quietly. "Ji Na … she has pneumonia. She's dying, Junhong. She's _dying _The medication isn't working on her at all. The disease is too far into her system to be stopped."

Unsure of how to comfort a woman whose only child was on her deathbed, Junhong, despite yearning to head to Ji Na's room stayed by her side until she choked out her final sob, her body shaking.

Finally, she looked up at him. "Go," she whispered, her voice hoarse. "I know how badly you want to see her. Go and … Say goodbye."

Getting to his feet, Junhong felt a numbing sensation was through his body. He was beyond the point of crying. Instead, he stared at the hallway ahead of him with a blank expression, moving one foot in front of the other as he walked. Raising a trembling hand, he managed to open her bedroom door.

"Junhong!" the girl smiled, although her body was weak. Ji Na's somewhat skeletal form was propped up against a large pillow, her face pallid. Her eyes had lost any sparkle that they once held. She attempted to get up as he closed the bedroom door behind him.

"Shh," he murmured, moving quickly to her side. Perching himself on the edge of her bed, Junhong placed a hand atop hers. "I'm here."

Ji Na's smile faltered and she glanced away. With her free hand, she rubbed her wrist.

"I'm sorry," she said, the same words leaving Junhong's mouth at the same time.

Both of them froze, out of both shock and amusement. It was Ji Na who spoke first.

_"Why?"_

Junhong chewed his bottom lip sadly before dropping his gaze to where their hands touched; gently, he traced his thumb over the back of her hand.

"It's my fault," he said, his voice no more than a whisper. "It's my fault that you're … you're … " Sucking in a shaky breath, Junhong continued, his hands trembling. He felt sick. "If we hadn't have gone out into the mudflats, if I hadn't of pushed you over … You … I'm so sorry."

Ji Na picked up the boys hand in her own and turned it over.

"No," she said quietly. "I did this to myself."

Confused, Junhong lifted his gaze to meet hers.

"I … " she murmured quietly, "in the mud flats, I lost your bracelet. That night, I went back out to look for it."

Junhong's eyes widened. "In a storm?"

"I'm sorry," Jin a replied, hanging her head. "I couldn't find it. It's gone."

Staring at her in shock for a few moments, Junhong shifted, his arms wrapping around her shoulders as he gently move her head to rest in his chest.  
His fists balled around the loose fabric of her pajamas as he bit down hard on his lip. He felt his body shake with ever sob and every intake of breath stung.

"Why?" he breathed, his grip on the fabric of her pajamas tightening. "You should have just left it. The bracelet didn't matte, it never did."

"It mattered to me," Ji Na replied quietly, her voice muffled by his chest.

Managing to wiggle out of his grip, Ji Na reached over the side of her bed, her hand disappearing into the darkness beneath, returning several moments later with something flat. Dropping the navy scrapbook into Junhong's lap, she smiled up at him.

"What's this?" the boy asked, digging his fingers into the corners of the book and lifting the cover.

"Memories," Ji Na breathed. "Memories which I wanted to preserve. Memories that I wanted to share with only you."

She sat in silence, watching Junhong's eyes scan over each page. He had only gotten through four before he closed it, his body shaking once more with sobs.

"That's not all," Ji Na added, looking away. "I … When I gave that to you, I wanted to tell you something." Drawing in a deep breath, she smiled. _"I love you."_

Without looking up, Junhong pulled her fragile form into his lap and held her. Burying his face into her neck, he cried. And cried.

"I love you too," he said, his voice and heart were breaking.

Junhong wasn't sure for how long he held her in his arms and cried, but by the time he had finally come to his senses, the sun had slipped away behind the horizon, casting the world below into a hazy dullness.

Placing a soft kiss on top of Ji Na's head, he let out a quiet sigh. She didn't stir. Maybe she was sleeping? She seemed pretty exhausted, after all.

Moving away from her Junhong felt his heart tear into two. Nothing could prepare him for what he had discovered.

Her face was pale, her eyes were foggy, glazed over. Lifeless. But her lips were tugged upwards into a smile.

She was gone.

Ji Na had died. Right there, in his arms.

She had died smiling.


	4. Four

Adjusting his tie, Junhong sat at the very front of the church alongside Ji Na's family. He didn't listen to most of the ceremony, instead, he kept his gaze fixed on the smooth marble floor, pulling his fingers unconsciously.  
Why was he wearing black? Why was _everyone _wearing black? Ji Na hated the colour. She always said it sucked the life out of things. It darkened the atmosphere. He could just imagine her sitting next to him, grabbing at the black suit jacket in jest.

_'What are you wearing this for?'_ she would ask_. 'Why are you looking so down?'_

The atmosphere in the church was somber. People cried, what would usually be a quiet muffled sob amplified by the fastness of the church made it echo at least ten times louder. And so, much of the funeral procedure was carried out as such, with echoing sobs becoming a very distant whitenoise in Junhong's ear.

This wasn't how Ji Na would have liked to go. No. She would have liked to see people smiling, sharing the happy times that they had spent with her; not mourning the life that she did not live.  
A shallow sigh escaped Junhong's lips and he allowed his shoulders to slump. Quickly, Ji Na's mother's elbow nudged him in the side.

Immediately straightening himself up, Junhong glanced apologetically at her. In response, she shook her head.

"Would you like to say a few words?" she asked, and Junhong realised that the priest had fallen silent and was looking in his direction.

Nodding quickly, he reached for something under his bench. Wordlessly, Junhong pushed himself to his feet, the ever present numbing feeling washing over him as he made his way to the front of the church. Shifting uncomfortably at the lack of prepared speech, Junhong closed his eyes. Why read something when you can say what's truly in your heart? Another quiet sigh escaped his lips and Junhong opened his bloodshot, dry eyes and glanced around at the sea of faces before him.

"JI Na," he began, feeling a sharp sensation in his heart, "Ji Na you … You was much more than a friend to me. You have been by my side for the longest time, and have taught me many things when others could not. Most importantly, you taught me how to forgive, how to love and how to let go.

And, for that, I want to say thank you. Thank you for everything, thank you for, well, for just being you. For always being there. For putting up with me when the going got tough, and for forgiving me when I did something to upset you.

It's been just over a week now since you left us, and not a moment passes where I don't wish that I could have taken your place, so that you could live out the happy life that you deserved. And while I cannot bring you back, I can promise you that you will never leave me; you will always be in my memories, and I will always cherish the moments we spent together.

I … You gave me this … This scrapbook, the day you left us. You told me it was full of our memories, all of those special moments that we shared, but you left one page blank. I finished it for you. But, I want you to keep it. I won't forget the times we shared and the memories we made, but I don't want to look back on what could have been. Ji Na, wherever you are, please keep smiling. Because someone, somewhere, will be falling in love with your smile just like I did. I will always keep you close to my heart … Promise."

Wiping his cheeks roughly with the back of his sleeve, he turned his back to the audience and made his way over to Ji Na's open casket. Opening the scrapbook to the final page, he set it across her chest.

_Ji Na, _ it read.  
_I will always love you._

Touching the tips of his fingers to his lips, Junhong moved his hand down slowly, and touched Ji Na's lips.

"Goodbye," he whispered. "Goodbye."


End file.
